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Everyday

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Everyday
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YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO BE HUMAN. 

We make art and share meaningful stories to remind you of just that.
 

PROJECTS

A traveling, pop up phone booth installation to talk to people who are no longer around.

A traveling, pop up phone booth installation to talk to people who are no longer around.

What does it mean to live? What does it mean to die? A podcast exploring what it means to be human.

What does it mean to live? What does it mean to die? A podcast exploring what it means to be human.

Connecting mother's who've lost a child and people who've lost a mom to call each other on Mother's Day.

Connecting mother's who've lost a child and people who've lost a mom to call each other on Mother's Day.

 
 
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DEATH IS NOT
A DIRTY WORD

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Hi, I'm Morgan, Founder of Death Dialogue.

In 2012 I got a call from my dad saying my mom, whom I had seen just two days prior, was dead. With nothing to lose, I packed up my things and traveled the world. I was looking for an escape, but what I found was connection. In every country I visited, I found stories of people who had lost loved ones and were questioning their mortality. I returned from that trip dedicated to telling those stories, and to talking about death and dying in a world that doesn’t.
 
"Remember all those times you ⠀⠀⠀ crossed wild raging rivers?⠀⠀⠀ And how each time they told you⠀⠀⠀ that you'd drown⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ Take your shaking knees⠀⠀⠀ now as a good sign,⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ My dear, your prayed for this⠀⠀⠀ when your legs were still bound."⠀⠀⠀ - @thefeelingsparade ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ I've been listening to this song on repeat. If you’re in a life transition — or just like good music — go listen. It’s been bringing my comfort as I navigate my “what’s next”. ⠀ ⠀ || shot on my Mamiya 645 medium format camera with @kodak 400mm Ektar 100
I sent this to my older sister, asking what she thought. "not sure what it is" was her response.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I sent it to my twin, she just didn't respond. (and then called hours later asking "what is it?")⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ But I like it, so I'm sharing it. Because I wish more people would be more free with their first drafts and shitty art and less precious with their feed (speaking to myself here, too).⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ So if you're team Feet-Firmly-Planted-on-the- Ground-but-Head-Happily-in-the-Clouds this one's for you. I've been like this my whole life and only recently have begun to see it as a gift, not something i need to "fix".⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ || Medium format @kodak 400mm Ektar 100 with Mamiya 645
"can you go one more hour?" That's what I ask myself when I'm tired of driving. And when I get to the end of that hour, I ask it again.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ If my answer is no, I then ask "Can you go 30 more minutes?"⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ If it's a no I ask "Can you go 10?" "5?" "1?" Sometimes I get into the seconds. I say to myself "Morgan Michele Brown, I know you're tired, but can you go 1 more second?"⁣ It's always a yes.⁣ and so we count seconds until we don’t have to.⠀ ⁣⠀ I'm talking about driving right now.⁣⠀ I'm also not talking about driving right now.
spent most of the day off social media but just wanted to say if you’re missing someone today — because of death, or estrangement, or distance, or disease, or any other host of reasons this day can hurt for so many — I’m with you, I see you, and I hope you did things that brought you joy today. If not, there’s still time for it tomorrow. and the next day. and the next day. (My joy = walking around @portlandnursery and walking out with more plant babies)
I rented a car to go surprise my grandma for a visit today. And when I arrived she was confused why I was in town, so I told her about the She Explores book and last night’s book event.⠀ ⠀ I asked if I could read my section to her. As I shared my story of finding healing on the road, I looked up and saw tears in her eyes. When I finished, I cried too, and we sat in that moment, both crying, not for long but for a little while, because she misses her daughter and I miss my mom and the missing is different but it’s kindred to each other.⠀ ⠀ Reading my section of the book to her was vulnerable for me because I try to stay positive in her presence. But I practiced what I preach and let her see all sides of me — the side that moved through deep sadness and is willing to share about it.⠀ ⠀ She probably won’t remember that moment, us crying. Dementia is taking more of her memory every day. But she still has her feelings and is willing to show them and it’s a beautiful thing to witness. I’m proud to come from a line of not only strong women, but vulnerable women — because oftentimes they’re the same thing.⠀ ⠀ Photo by my twin @kenner08 in Iceland
What I love about you is that I can take you anywhere. When I’m traveling the world, you’re there. When I’m in the depth of grief, you’re beside me. When I’m living in my van, your in my passenger seat. When I’m make art, you cheer me on. And when I take a break from being on here, you warmly welcome me back. You let me be me in all is my multitudes. You don’t ask me to pick one box, but encourage me to fill many, and I just wanted you to know I appreciate you 💛
•3 of 3• only recently, after I powered forward and then burned out so terribly did I realize the crow's omen was true. But not death in the heart stops beating, loose 21 grams kind of way. This way different.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ it was more simple that that. and more complicated. It was a death to my way of being. I saw in those 10 days in silence at the artist retreat — with no where to go and no where to be — how deeply I craved a pause. And when that pause came, I couldn't return to the person I was. The person who had just a few weeks earlier done shit like fly to Hawaii, then Portland, then to my dad's house, then to LA for an interview, then back to my dad's house, then to the bay area, and then back to LA for less than 24 hours, and then back to my dad's house — all within 3 weeks, without a car, and thinking it was NORMAL. I've always been a slow moving creature. I think of myself, lovingly, as a sloth. My family calls me "the bear", but somehow, I'd been living life like a roadrunner.⁣ A really tired roadrunner.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ so when a friend recently asked "how has it been doing nothing" I didn't know how to respond. NOTHING? it's been far from nothing. Because this pause has taken my full strength. In a world that says go faster, hustle harder, just keep going, I chose the quiet. I chose the listening. I chose the silence. ⁣but just because I didn't have a checklist of "doing and being" for the world to keep track of, definitely didn't mean I was doing nothing.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ because to me, if anything, i was doing everything. Because of the pause, I know more of who I am and what I want. Because of the pause i'm ok with silence, and not distracting myself with "i'm just so busy things". Because of the pause, I feel more confident in my art, my words, my visual expression, and my place in the world. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ because of the pause I can breathe again.⁣ Because of the pause, I feel safe to emerge.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ [shot on 120mm film]
•2 of 3• A week before I left for Sweden I was sitting at the kitchen table in the house I grew up in. It's markedly different now than the days when we lived there as a family of 5. They say when someone dies that they lose 21 grams, and so it's thought that a person's soul weights that much. The day my mom was killed, I think that house lost 21 grams, too. That's the only way I know how to describe it — a house that had lots of life and warmth, now totally deflated. It had kind of become a home base over my traveling years, a place to come back to when I didn't know where to go. And on that day, I found myself travel planning at a chair that looked out onto the backyard. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ I've never been super woo woo. I'd like to think of myself as woo-adjacent. I've never been to a sound healing and I've never done Ayahuasca. I don't really like yoga, but sure, I'd do 10 minutes a day of @headspace. This is all important for the next part, because as I was sitting in the chair overlooking the backyard, I saw a crow land on the basketball hoop that sat outside. I watched it quietly as it hopped around a bit. Then it turned towards me and crowed loudly a handful of times. Maybe I was in a particularly vulnerable place, but its crows reached me in places I didn't know I had, the places that maybe believed omens were real and that this was a warning. And I panicked. I texted two of my closest friends — both a few steps closer into the world of woo — "what does it mean?"⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ In the world of omens it's pretty clear: death.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ Was it because my best friend's dad had just died? Was it a sign that I should cancel my flight? Was terrible news on my horizon? I decided to go to Europe anyway, but can you imagine my inner turmoil when there was constant turbulence for *the entire flight*. More than once I thought "fuck! i should have listened to the crow." I realize how ridiculous that sounds.⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣[shot on 120mm film]⁣⠀ ⁣⠀
 

 
 

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Banner photo by Daniel N.Johnson.
 
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